תובנת בוקר

אם את נותנת למישהו את הלב והוא מת, האם הוא לוקח אותו איתו? האם את מבלה את שארית הנצח עם חור בתוכך שאי אפשר למלא? – ג'ודי פיקו { מתוך הספר "תשע עשרה דקות"

שירי שטויסל

0 451 דקת קריאה

אבא שלי

אבא שלי נפטר כשהייתי בת 24, ככה פתאום באמצע החיים, אני עוד לא הספקתי להתבגר והוא נעלם.

מבחינתי זה היה חור, תהום, באר עמוקה שעליי לחזור ולמלא בכל דרך אפשרית. הדבר הראשון שבחרתי מתוך בחירה אינטואיטיבית הייתה לבחור בחיים. המשפט "ובחרת בחיים" הדהד בראשי לכל אורך תהליך האבל שארך שנתיים לערך (וגם היום ברגעי משבר אני חוזרת לעצמי על המשפט הנ"ל).

דבר שני וחשוב שעשיתי היא החלטתי, למרות כל העצב והכאוס שאפפו את התקופה, להפוך את הגישה לאובדן הזה למשהו חיובי ולראות במוות הזה כסוג של שיעור שהוא בגדר מתנה.

היום, בהביטי 16 שנה לאחור אני יודעת שהראייה הזו לא רק שעודדה אותי, היא גם דירבנה אותי לצאת מחוזקת יותר ושלמה יותר. עדיין, כאשר מופיע לו זיכרון או מחשבה "אם הוא היה רואה את הילדים" ו"אם היה חי איך היו חיי נראים", "מה היה אומר על מקרה כזה או אחר", – חורים קטנים מופיעים ואני נדרשת מעצמי למלא אותם ולהתעצם.

עם זאת בפה מלא אני יכולה להגיד שהחור הגדול, התהום הענקית שהייתה נרפאה.

אוהבת אותך אבא, יוסף דלריאה ז"ל

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שירי שטויסל

0 451 דקת קריאה

שירי שטויסל

שירי שטויסל מאמנת אינטגרטיבית לנוער מאמינה שגישה לחיים יפים זו בחירה. מאמנת אישית מתוך ידע שנצבר במהלך 20 שנה כמטפלת הוליסטית, סדנאות שונות וחוויות אישיות.

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הוסף אותי לרשימת התפוצה בכדי לקבל חדשות טובות אחת לשבוע למייל.

הוסף אותי לרשימת התפוצה בכדי לקבל חדשות טובות אחת לשבוע למייל.

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